„The devil take my reputation!
I need a job!
I need an income!
I burst with envy when I see your beautiful women, your fine automobiles and your expensive country houses.“
G.B. Shaw
„The Doctor at the Crossroads“, 1
(Dr Ridgeon)
The Ambassador’s Cat ► An erotic story by Gerhard-Stefan Neumann ►
The old ambassador felt miserable, tired and worn out. Lately he has been longing for the end of his days more and more often. His young wife, Eva, wasn’t much help. Although he loved her with all his heart and he could be absolutely sure of her love. Her numerous young lovers did nothing to change this fact.
Even if Eva had fun with one of these young gentlemen at least once a week at some extremely unimportant ball in some embassy in the capital. The aged husband was in no way jealous. On the contrary, he encouraged Eva’s passion to the best of his ability and he knew each of her lovers personally. After all, they were all diplomats – just like him. He knew exactly when a new affair began, when it reached its peak, when it subsided and when it was finally time for him to introduce his wife to a new, suitable suitor.
As always, the old ambassador sat in a wheelchair in his favorite place in his small garden high above the cliffs of the island. The lonely, small and extremely picturesque island was his private residence. He had requested this refuge from the Chancellor in distant Berlin when he took over the embassy in the capital of the small South Sea archipelago decades ago. According to the will of the grand old Chancellor in Berlin, this should be the last official act for the aged ambassador. But this old fox only chuckled quietly into his hand when he thought of the powerful chancellor back home:
„Let him sit in his feudal palace,“ the experienced envoy coughed into his fine damask handkerchief, „we’ll see who outlives whom here.“
The ambassador found it more difficult to breathe from day to day, the vision in his elderly eyes had almost completely failed him and he had long been unable to move around under his own power. Joseph, his grizzled servant, provided him with the bare necessities and drove him to the cliffs of the island to his garden in a rickety wheelchair every morning or whenever his master requested. Her faithful companion throughout the years was Eva, the loyal and cuddly ancient Egyptian temple cat, a highly noble and rare breed cat.
From there, the old diplomat used an equally ancient telescope to observe the newfangled freighters and steamships that populated the horizon in ever-increasing numbers every day. And as always, the cat lounged in its master’s lap, purring comfortably, obviously enjoying life and enjoying the ambassador’s tender attentions. Throughout all these many years, Eva the cat remained loyal to her master. The animal’s occasional longer excursions could not change this. But whenever the beautiful animal reappeared after a long disappearance, the ambassador’s physical health suddenly improved. That’s why he didn’t hold her back when she suddenly interrupted her dozing, beamed at him with her green eyes meaningfully and at the same time knowingly, jumped off his lap and disappeared into the rocky cliffs.
As intensely as he listened to himself more and more often, as if he wanted to notice the coming of the Grim Reaper in time, he also listened to the beating of the waves that crashed onto the island’s beach at a depth of a good 150 meters. He enjoyed the amorous play of the seagulls as they flew around him, his residence, his garden and the entire island in adventurous and daring feats of flying.
The ambassador particularly loved his garden. It was meticulously laid out and maintained by local gardeners according to his plans and drawings. And even today, many years later, major repairs or alterations of any kind can only be carried out after detailed consultations with His Excellency. The ambassador used to speak duplicitously and ambiguously about his garden as follows:
„Even when this world is no more, my garden and I will be one – the garden above, I below.“ Not only because his previous house cats from the rare breed of ancient Egyptian temple cats found their final resting place in a certain small and separate part, but two of his wives have also been laid to eternal rest in this idyllic place over the decades.
Occasionally, horrible feelings arose in the old man, especially when he thought with horror of the rich and corpulent ladies of his heart who, to his great good fortune, had died early. With Eva, his current wife, things were of course completely different, because Eva was a rare stroke of luck – a jewel. Tall and slim, very intelligent, young, a full fifty years younger than her husband, and with very subtle feminine curves and shoulder-length reddish hair, she was a woman he had always wanted – even if she wasn’t him belonged alone. But what did that matter? Just by her presence she sweetened the seclusion and loneliness in this outpost of world diplomacy.
All the bones in his tired and worn out body ached for the old man and he could only barely hold himself in the wheelchair. He drew the aroma of the fresh air of the Pacific deep into his lungs, always hoping that the lively breeze would give him back a little of the physical performance of days gone by. He also really longed for Eva’s hugs. But the unfulfilled hope remained, the imminent end seemed to be getting closer and closer.
Joseph knew about the devastating condition of his aged master and he suffered with him, especially since he became aware of the extent and extent to which the ambassador’s physical deterioration was progressing. So he shuffled over quickly, as much as his own infirmity allowed him, and brought his master the equally old telescope. “Thank you, Joseph,” murmured the old man and placed the glass on the tripod that had been hastily handed over to calm the telescope and trembling hand to some extent. What the old man saw seemed to bring him deep joy, because an inexpressible feeling of happiness spread through the old and emaciated body, rejuvenating him by ten, twenty, perhaps even thirty years – the ambassador literally woke up again Life.
The ambassador’s figure straightened, straightened, the endless wrinkles of his skin disappeared and his pale skin tanned. The stringy and unhealthy-looking yellowish, tangled hair became a silvery, bright white, and would have been a credit to an ancient Greek philosopher. Joseph had witnessed this incredible transformation before. And every time he suffered with the old man from distant Europe. And whenever this happened, not only was there an inexplicable death on this deserted island, but Joseph’s body also conformed to his master’s body. At first this scared him. But he quickly forgot about it, especially since the ambassador always laughed in amazement and curiously wanted to know which young girl Joseph had spent his last nights with. In his many years of servanthood, Joseph had learned to be silent, to serve, and to enjoy.
With the old man’s euphoria, Joseph once again grew beyond himself and he thought with joy of the new coffee-brown female beauty who had been responsible for the envoy’s breakfast and five o’clock tea for the past few days. Joseph beamed all over his face, weathered by the local sun and marked by the storms of life, as he thought of the woman he loved: her long, well-formed legs, her firm thighs, her narrow hips and, above all, her femininely protruding bottom Revered, which often led Joseph to one or two little tokens of love, but he was always dismissed with the flippant remark, „but, but grandfather…“
This would now change and Joseph was sure of it. The radiant smile in his Excellency’s steel blue and sparkling eyes proved him right. He would kiss every square inch of his beloved’s skin, grasp the girl’s waist and never let her slip away, not to mention the voluptuous and very feminine breasts and he imagined – how he would bury his face in them. And – by how many decades his own life clock would be set back this time in the shadow of his master’s regeneration.
An energetic hand gesture from the newly revived diplomat brought him back to reality rather harshly. „Just look Joseph,“ his Excellency called out happily, „yes, just look very closely, they have found each other and they love each other – the time has finally come,“ and with an elegant and extremely energetic wave of his hand he handed the glass to the servant and signaled him to see through it. Deep at her feet, in the dreamlike and beautiful bay between the rocky cliffs, Eva, the ambassador’s wife, was having fun with an unusually good-looking, young, tall, blonde man. „It’s your first secretary Horvath, Excellency,“ Joseph said in surprise. „Yes, Joseph, I’ve known for a long time,“ he confirmed and added calmly:
„I introduced the young man to her myself and I believe that he is quite useful for our purposes.“
The young couple, who seemed made for each other even from this distance, had already taken off all their clothing and were swimming in the waves of the Pacific just as God had created them, like an innocent, happy and carefree, perhaps even childishly silly couple in love. While Eva’s uncomplicated and cheerful laugh hit the rock walls and she gave in more and more willingly to the naked youth’s wooing, the husband gained completely in weight and stature:
But Eva not only gave, she also took – the most valuable thing her young lover had to give her – and she took it for her husband. At the same moment when he surrendered willlessly to his final fate in her arms and thus fulfilled his life, two bright white lightning bolts shot up the rock wall from Eva’s beautiful green eyes, allowing the ambassador to penetrate and illuminate as if in a thunderstorm, bringing him glowing in the most dazzling colors in the world and finally disappearing on the horizon of the sky just as quickly as they had come. A little later, as if by fate or by the dramaturgy of a skilled magician, deep darkness fell over the cliffs of the island and it suddenly became the deepest night… …
The young old ambassador headed towards his bedchamber in a good mood, tidy, even really cheerful and almost exhilarated. Of course, his faithful servant Joseph had already prepared everything for a restful night, including the obligatory glass of warm milk, so that he, his master, would sleep comfortably and relaxed into the realm of dreams – but this milk, delicious as always, was his Excellency’s own Sure, he definitely wouldn’t need it that night. So he demonstratively opened the mighty double doors to his bedroom with both hands and allowed himself to be captivated by the light, the warmth, friendship and love:
He was greeted by a halo of gold-colored light cones that surrounded him, the room and the bed, as if he and the entire room were supposed to become part of their enormous radiance. And then he saw his favorite, the cat. The beautiful ancient Egyptian temple cat lounged on the fine sheets, purring comfortably, its eyes shining like huge phosphorus stones and small, white flashes reflected on its irises. „Eva, my little darling,“ the ambassador whispered happily, knelt down on the bed and caressed the noble animal very tenderly. After a while of loving interaction, the envoy noticed traces of blood on the animal’s claws and when he looked questioningly and at the same time concerned into the cat’s eyes, his own past was reflected in them. A little later, when the diplomat went to rest, the cat nestled in his arms and looked at him lovingly with large, green eyes… …
The storm did not come as a surprise; in its own way, he had hoped for it and longed for it; after all, it brought him relief from his suffering and gave him back hope and confidence. It would renew him and give him a new chance at life. But this storm was louder and more threatening in its violence and intensity than any other before. Fear overwhelmed the ambassador and made him jump in alarm.
In the same breath, the door to his bedchamber burst open with a loud bang and a figure dressed entirely in white entered the room, surrounded by a glowing halo of supernatural white, almost dazzling light. „Eva,“ the ambassador stammered, frightened, delighted and surprised at the same time. “How nice, my beloved, that you are finally here”. Eva remained silent. She floated more than she walked and stood at his side by the bed. With a barely noticeable movement of her shoulder, she let her robe slide to the floor and showed herself to her husband in all her wonderful beauty – just as her Creator had created her.
He welcomed her with open arms and she closed his questioning mouth with a long and tender kiss. And the more and the deeper he penetrated her body, the more the spirit of the young first secretary, who had died far too early, took possession of his body. And they made love the whole long night…
The next morning, shortly after breakfast, the envoy sent for his servant to send a personal telegram to his superior, the Chancellor. When the servant entered, he saw his master standing at one of the large windows and noticed how he was staring almost motionless out at the vast expanse of the Pacific. „Joseph,“ he said to his servant, „please ensure that this telegram reaches His Excellency, the Chancellor, as quickly as possible. Berlin should notify the relatives of Secretary Horvath, who died so unfortunately. It is a tragedy.“
„Yes, Mr. Ambassador,“ the servant also said sympathetically, „it’s a tragedy. These swimming accidents are also really very terrible. Now we have to mourn the third death in your term of office.“ And as he turned around he noticed that the ambassador was holding his cat in his arms. „Oh,“ the servant cried happily, „Eva is here again.“ “ Yes, Joseph,“ the diplomat replied happily, „Eva may be a big drifter, but luckily she always comes back. „Yes, it’s really lucky,“ said the servant and went away to post the telegram. And the cat purred in the most comfortable way, stretched out in her master’s arms, caressed his hands and tenderly stroked his cheeks with her little head. Her eyes beamed at him. They were wonderful green eyes.
The ambassador turned from the window and back to his desk. He smiled and seemed extremely happy, very relaxed and his personality was balanced and stable. It was like a miracle – the old diplomat, who had fallen into disrepair, had become a fresh and youthful-looking, handsome man in his fifties. The ambassador’s gaze turned to the wall opposite:
There was a picture of Eva, his beloved wife. It was a nude portrait and it showed Eva with the cat. The ambassador loved this painting; he could spend hours in front of it if he had to. Not only because it showed his wife, unclothed, in full life size, and because the cat that Eva held in her arms only very incompletely covered her wonderful and very feminine upper body, no, it was the pair of eyes of the sitter that made him, the ambassador, look like that incredibly fascinating:
Whenever the ambassador and the cat were lonely, the diplomat would take a chair and, always with the cat in his arms, look at the portrait of his wife. And it usually didn’t take very long until the two beloved pairs of eyes in the painting glowed and let small white flashes rain down on the man with the cat in his arms.
In distant Berlin, the Chancellor stood on the balcony of his official residence in a bent position with his hands crossed behind his back and looked very thoughtfully at the excited hustle and bustle of the budding city of over a million people. He, too, was tired of his job and no longer felt up to the tasks that lay before him. And to make matters worse, there was Hermione. Hermine was his wife, a souvenir from his time as chargé d’affaires at the Austrian court in Vienna. But that was a very long time ago and today Hermione had the spoiled, funny and cheerful k. u.k. – Princess of that time still has about as much in common as an old sailing schooner with the huge MS Imperator, which was currently set off from Hamburg on its maiden voyage to New York.
Besides, Hermione wasn’t exactly a model of a faithful wife. But that wouldn’t have bothered the aged Chancellor much if his current lover hadn’t been a more or less meaningless bon vivant and actor. „If she had at least chosen a government councilor or colonel – no, it has to be a theater hero,“ grumbled the old chancellor sullenly into his graying beard.
The telegram from his friend the ambassador still lay on his huge desk. And one thought had been bothering him the whole time, never letting him go and constantly haunting his head:
He could visit the homeland of his ancestors, live a life without Hermione, simply resign, be young again, visit the islands of the South Seas, and enjoy the almost virgin twentieth century to the fullest – for better or for worse and… and …
The Chancellor stood in front of the picture of his great-grandfather, the founder of the family dynasty, and both men looked at each other. Thoughtful, questioning, searching and living, one, the Chancellor – experienced and knowing about the problems of the great-grandson, the other, the painted one, the great-grandfather. The painted man was holding a particularly noble and beautiful cat in his arms – an ancient Egyptian temple cat. Cats of this special breed have been kept in the dynasty since ancient times and were greatly revered by family members.
The Chancellor also loved these beautiful animals and whenever he could, he looked at the painting and was captivated by the gaze of the temple cat depicted in it. After a while of intimate contemplation, time and space mixed together, present and future no longer played any role, the building blocks of life here and now mixed with completely new and unknown values of such a completely different world.
When the Chancellor’s adjutant entered his study, his heart almost stopped in shock. The whole huge room was filled with a gentle, mild sea breeze and from very far away the officer thought he heard music:
The gentle melodies of the South Seas – as well as the surf of the Pacific and the swaying of the palm trees. But there was no trace of the Chancellor. On his desk he only found his letter of resignation and nothing else. No notice, no message. When the adjutant looked around the room, he was almost shocked:
Where the great-grandfather’s portrait always hung, the Chancellor now looked towards him and in his arms he held a cat with bright green eyes. And when the officer touched the picture lightly, he discovered, to his unspeakable horror, that the paint on the painting was not yet completely dry… …
Author note:
Gerhard Stefan Neumann
Freelance journalist + copywriter (GdbR)
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